FEATHER EDUCATION
提分干货 | 托福作文:TOEFL首尾段如何呼应?

这是一篇言简意赅的文章,材料来自上周五晚上11点半,一位童鞋说:“老师,明天我考TOEFL呢,能帮忙看看作文吗?”我看了,改了,并打算在这里和大家分享三点。

1.第一段要有明确的主题句进行回应,且结尾段应该有呼应的总结句!

2.如果题目明确问了which view do you agree? 那么就请2选1吧!

3.
所谓模板,无非就是形成一些相对标准化的过渡短语!

Some people say that we should always follow dreams even if the dreams are very ambitious. Other think we should focus on achieving realistic goals. Which view do you agree?


Original

After the speech ‘I have a dream’ by Martin Luther King in 1963, more people in the world weremotivated to stick to their dreams and goals. Somecitizens argue that it’s not sagacious for people to follow ambitions goals, but in my points of view, all kinds of goals are worth pursuing because of the reasons I state below.

In conclusion, people should put endeavor into things they really passionate about, regardless they are viewed realistic or not. As the saying goes, ‘There is always serendipity at the end of a brambly road.’

Revised

After Martin Luther King delivered the speech “I have a dream” in 1963, many more around the world have been inspired to pursue their ambitious dreams even though facing a great deal of challenges (view 1)Admittedly, some might argue that it is wiser to focus on realistic goals (view 2).However, in my opiniondreams might be too ideal to follow, but definitely worth following(主题句同意view 1,但增加了一个转折) for the reasons stated below.

In conclusion, it is fair to assert that we should all endeavor to what we are truly passionate about, despite that some goals might never be accomplished (总结句). As the saying goes, “There is a will, there is a way.”


Comparison

当然,看着可以理解,到自己写就是另一回事了。所以,比较有效的讲解过程是:学生写--老师改--学生看对比--老师再讲解

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